The inexcusable act

9 Jul

THE INEXCUSABLE ACT  I’m sitting on a coach bound for Australia’s Capital city, Canberra, (which, alone, is enough to dampen many people’s moods) but then the inexcusable happens: one of my fellow passengers farts.

I’m not referring to one of those loud-and-out-there farts that boys in primary school deal just to get a laugh out of the girls in class. This particular fart was of the silent and violent variety. The type that people allow to slip out slowly and quietly, completely aware that the unsuspecting people around them are about to fall victim to that bowl of spicy chorizo pasta from last night.

It turns me off my snacks, I can’t concentrate on my reading and I can’t do a thing to stop it because the windows can’t be opened. I am convinced the air conditioner has caused the smell to drift through the entire bus and it is now trapped lingering around my seat. I wonder if the old woman besides me thinks that I have let this one rip?

Maybe it was the lovely old lady who farted and she just can’t help it because of health reasons. It could have been the innocent looking starlet in front of me. She’s not as innocent as she appears. I’ve got it … It’s the bus driver! I bet he just loves watching the change of expressions as his putrid odour makes its way down the length of the vehicle.

It’s just so cruel. In fact, it should be punishable.

I refer to Australian national transport operator Greyhound Australia’s terms and conditions for passengers travelling on coaches. I clearly identify sections restricting drug and alcohol consumption and minimum clothing standards. But no section on carrying harmful gases. There should be a special clause on farting. After all, it is a huge disruption to comfort of passengers travelling and, in some instances, its even a health risk!

Next time I travel overland, I think I’ll opt for car rental.

By Marissa Toohey


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